Tomorrow is Cheesemas, the biggest (and best) of our made-up holidays. This morning, Dorian pinned me into the bed for what was supposed to be a short cuddle, then turned into him falling asleep with half his weight on me. Since I was waiting for our friend Scotti to arrive from out of town, I had my cell phone with me, and, when attempts to free myself proved fruitless, I started texting a poem to some friends.
Once he started talking, I worked the nonsense into the poem. The poem is below, the actual quotes below it.
(Yes, dad, the meter isn't perfect, I know.)
T'was the morn before Cheesemas, and all through the house,
The only sound that was sounding, the click of Dom's mouse.
Guest's shoes all arranged by the doorway with care
In hopes that Scotti (Lastname) soon would be there.
And Dorian in his slumber, and I in my cast,
Had just settled down for a short winter's nap
When up from the pillow there arose such a clatter
I reached for my notebook to record all his chatter.
"The bagels attack!" he exclaimed with dismay,
"We must return fire with the cream cheese array!"
"Fire latke torpedoes! Give them all that we have!"
That I had chosen this man, I was once again glad.
A handsome young man, so sweet and so kind
Sharing his nonsense, something he did not mind.
More mumbled than spoken, his sleep-words they came,
As he rolled over, and snored, and called out my name.
"Adom! I got you! Keep down, and make breakfast!
The bagels are coming, their attack can not last!
But could you order some pizza, I am quite hungry.
Get me sausage and cheese, and pepperoni."
And then, with a shuffling, I heard on the bed
A purring and pawing and bump of a head.
As I pulled away and was turning around
Up came Akhim with a geriatric bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his nose to his tail
And sat upon Dorian with a mewling wail.
He had not yet been fed, his bowl was empty!
It was clear to him who was delaying me.
Dorian, he stirred, and swatted away
The cat, who insisted he must start his day.
"Goway damn cat," he said without care
So my face was covered with feline derriere.
He was fuzzy, and bony, his foot on my nose
Little furry tufts sticking out between his toes.
A stumble of Akhim and a twist of my head
Finally had the cat expelled from the bed.
Dorian spoke another word, which was "filibuster,"
And returned to his snoring, with a snort and a bluster.
And, laying his hand on top of my face,
Assured me that he was not asleep in this place.
I crawled from the bed, he gave a little moan
And I pulled myself into crutches, with nary a groan.
But I heard him exclaim, as I hobbled out of sight
"There's not enough latkes for all, this will be our last night!"
"No...no! Savage bagels are attacking!...Fire the latke torpedoes! Adom, get down!...Yeah, we've got them. Not enough potatoes to eat, though. Can't survive a second wave."
"Hey, could you order pizza for breakfast? I'll have the Big Topper. Just put mine in the microwave...mmm, that's good pizza."
"Break the filibuster! No, I'm not asleep." *Drops hand over my face* "Snooze button."