Friday, March 22, 2013

The Ducks Are Nigh

"Well, he should stop being a sparkly gay unicorn, then!" (This was said with great indignation, with nothing said before or after to provide a hint as to what the hell he was talking about.)

"Zzzz...Adom! They're not playing the game right."
"Uh? Who?"
(With deep offense) "The Dutch."
(Wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep.) "Well, tell them to stop it."
"I can't!"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't speak Dutch. Duh."
"Okay, well, tell Jim to tell them, then." (I assume that Dorian's sleep logic will be satisfied with Jim's Dutch heritage, and we can move on.)
"Jim won't work."
"Because he doesn't speak Dutch, either. Get it together, Adom."

"I have the basket! It's in the bag. And it's full of fishes!"

"Hitler didn't use guns, that's an urban myth. The Nazis, they fired ducks...Quack, quack...semi-auto ducks, quacka-quacka-quacka. It's all a conspiracy to keep people from knowing about how dangerous the ducks are...Dammit, Jim, I've had just about enough of your racism! The ducks are nigh."

(Jim is, for the record, not a racist. He and Dorian tease each other by accusing the other of horrible things he'd never do. It makes for interesting first impressions when they forget to turn it off around new people.)

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