I have to apologize for not updating this more often than I have. The email account I had connected with this blog was compromised, and, long story short, I had to create a new account to connect to the blog, which for reasons beyond my understanding, doesn't always allow me to log in.
Anyway, here's some gems from the last couple of weeks:
"Minus the caterers, you still have the muffins...just take it out of the bar tab."
Dorian: "Did you find your keys?"
Me: "No, I'm about to look for them."
Dorian: "Did you check inside the keys?"
Me: "Did I look inside the keys for the keys?"
Me: "No, I did not."
Dorian: "Well, no wonder you haven't found them yet."
"Yeah, yeah, just pour the mustard directly over me...no, that's too much."
Dorian: "Whaa? No! Is it my fault?"
Me: "No, it's okay, it's just a thing that happens sometimes."
Dorian: "Oh, and what about...butt-er-fly?"
Me: "...That's fine, too."
"...And the sandwiches are groovy."
(Dorian snores, partially wakes up from the noise)
"God, why do my snores sound like two chainsaws fucking?" (Makes chainsaw noises with his mouth, accompanied by enthusiastic pelvic thrusts.) "Rrrarrrr! Rrrrrrr! RRRRRananananananarrr!"