Pillow Talk

Why yes, we are still alive!

"Adom. Knock, knock."
"Ugh?"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's...who's there?"
"Ostrich."
"Ostrich, who?"
"Ostrich pistachios!" (Giggles)
(I raise an eyebrow at the non sequitor, and close my eyes again after a moment.)
"Knock, knock."
"Ugh, no." (With this, I roll over and try to go back to sleep.)
"Knock, knock...Adom! Adom!"
"Uh?"
"Knock, knock."
(Annoyed, and a bit too loudly) "Ugh, who's there?!"
(Dorian wakes up) "Hnuh? Adom, stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Telling knock knock jokes. You woke me up."

"Adom..."
"Yes?"
"Your boobs smell like pierogi."
(Extremely confused) "Um...I'm sorry?"
"No, it is awesome."

"You're sweet like ant poison."

'Cause I'm baked...not...fried?

"TELL HIM TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!"

"I am going to sleep. I am walking down the street right now. Just need to sequester the zebras."

(sings) "I love the fishes, 'cause they're so delicious! Gotta go fishin'...now replace 'fish' with 'Adom."

*Akim climbs on top of Dorian, sits*
"Tzar cat, taking all the mustard. Bastard...need it for the sandwich!"

Swarm of Umlauts

"Federal deficit...fuckers."

"Let's go to bed."
"That's what I did."
"No, you're on the couch."
"No, it's got the bear."

"Swarm of...umlauts."

Why haven't I thought of this before?

"Dorian, wake up."
"Muuuh."
"Dorian, wake up."
"Muuuh."
"Dorian, wake up."
"Mmmpf!"
"Dorian, the narwhal is on fire!"
(He sits up) "What? Get him back in the ocean!...Wait, what?"