And with that, I'm getting up

I've been moderately ill for the last couple of days--hot and cold flashes, dizziness, queasiness, coughing, all a bunch of low-grade but persistent symptoms. Last night, my coughing was keeping me up.

I kept turning over, moving around, sitting up, propping pillows, all in an attempt to find a position that I wasn't going to be constantly coughing in. Dorian gets up very early for work, and I didn't want to disturb his sleep.

Apparently, I had.

I rolled over onto my back, where I hoped I would not cough further. Unfortunately, I let out a series of hacks, and Dorian (who was still mostly asleep), rolled over to face me. He opened his arms, and, with a just-this-side-of-acceptably-gentle amount of force, dropped his upper body onto mine, pressing his face against my chest.

With his face buried in my sternum, and, by all observation on my part, addressing my lungs, he moaned, "Stoppiiiit! Shhh!"

Then he poked me in the ribs for good measure.

I gave up and got out of bed.

Inception meets home repair?

Dorian: "Were you watching a movie?"
Me: "Huh? No."
Dorian: "I had a dream that you had a dream that you were watching a movie while I tore the rubber down off the ceiling."
Me: "No, no dreams like that."
*Dorian wakes up* "Huh? What are you talking about?"
Me: "I don't know."

And I figure folks reading this would appreciate this:

Dorian was reading old posts of his on Facebook, while I sat across the table. Every few minutes, he'd comment on a changed opinion, or how a situation evolved from when he first commented on it.

After a little while, I head the loud click of his mouse.

A moment later, a distinctive drumroll played from his computer. Dorian threw his hands in the air.

"Ahh, I got Rickrolled by myself! Bullshit!"

Speaking of weird

Dorian: "Mmmf!"
*I wake up and roll over* "Hmmm?"
Dorian: "That's weird."
Me: "What's weird?"
Dorian: "It's weird."
Me: "What is?"
Dorian, accompanied by a full body spasm: "ZZZzzzzzap!...(snores)"
(I stare at him a moment, then go back to sleep.)

Did he anger a witch, or something?

Dorian fell asleep while we were watching Into the Woods. At the intermission, I fidgeted around on the couch, and he responded with:

"...I'm sorry...I'm sorry! Croak...croak...croak..."

According to Dorian, "those were not frog noises, they were attempts to speak." Regardless of what they were supposed to be, I'm writing down what I heard. And he definitely croaked like a frog.

Another Minecraft dream

Late last night, Dorian made a sort of alarmed, startled sound. I rolled over to check on him, and witnessed the following:

*Dorian looks concerned about something*
"SssssssssssssssSSSSSSSS--PSHHH!"
*Dorian frowns*

That, folks, is the sound a Creeper makes when it attacks.

I love this man.

Sorry, ladies, he's taken.

Dorian had a bit too much wine last night. He was drunkenly talking in his sleep.

"The wrong police showed up...so they had to use 911...to get the fairy cops there."

At one point, he started passionately making out with me--but he missed my mouth, and instead started french kissing my cheek, which resulted in him forcefully jabbing his nose into my eyeball. After I made a sound of protestation, he woke up, blearily looked at me, and, in a slurred attempt at seduction, said, "So what you doin'?"

He vigorously licked my forearm, and promptly fell asleep again.

Oh, baby, oh baby.

We discussed this and other shenanigans this morning. During the conversation, he nodded off again, commenting that he thought he was supposed to apologize for something.

A few moments of snoring later...

Dorian: "I remember now."
Me: "Hmm?"
Dorian: "It wasn't the sexy penis thing, though...I polished the inside of your teeth. I'm sorry."

I'm not sure I want to know what that was about.

Not a sleeping exchange, but still funny.

I copied this from my Facebook status last night. The quotes are approximate; I'd already been buzzed at that point. Dorian was, of course, not sleeping, but I thought it amusing enough to be appropriate to share here.

*Moving the last of Dorian's stuff out of his old apartment*
"Mind if I check the cabinets, make sure you got everything?"
"I double and triple checked everything."
"Still, mind if I do a once-over?"
"I checked all the cabinets."

(Later, as I check the bathroom closet)
"I got everything. If there's anything left, I don't want it. I double and triple checked all the cabinets and closets."

(Later, as I look into a cabinet...)

"Hey, a bottle of tequila!"
"...Dammit."

I am now getting drunk 1800 Silver, the bottle of which I have claimed for my own. Because he clearly didn't want it.