Cyndi Lauper

(Finally) catching up:

"...Yeah, well, at least it's way better than Quidditch."

"No, Jim, ecoterrorism is not a hobby...you can't put chocolate syrup on all the leaves."

(Asleep, on the couch, while the rest of us play Settlers of Catan. Someone mentions they have sheep.)
"BAAAAA!...zzz..."

"Zzz...Tony Danza is a cunt!"

"I should be full of shame right now, but I just have the giggles. My piss smells like cupcakes. We're good."

"Nothing's more stimulating than falling into a goddamn punji pit."

"Seventeen Sanchos, duct taped together...playing billiards."

"Don't tell the duck! We have to make it go!"

Dorian: "Someone's beeping you."
Me: "I heard."
"I think it's Cyndi Lauper."
"Why?"
"Because I want a sandwich."
"Do you want me to make you a sandwich?"
"...Do I exist?"
"Yes."
"Then yes...I'm sorry the potatoes look so scary. It's because I had to carve them...Tell the goat to shut up."