Dorian had a few drinks tonight. As he left the room, indignant that we were not all so fascinated with his discovery that, when you put spent paper towel tubes on your fingers, "it looks kind of like a speculum, see, duck bill, checkin' you out inside," he said the following:
"No, no, I get it. I can't do anything right. I get it. I can't make you happy with paper tubes."